A Year in the Mountains: December 2016

It's been four years since I went on this journey. Its been four years since I have written on this blog. It has barely been a day since I last thought of Ecuador. This time four years ago I was gearing up to spend the holidays away from my biological family and with a wonderful adopted family. Four years ago I was 17. Now I am 21. It is strange to think about how fast time has flown by. In the past four years I have traveled over 26,831 miles. I have traveled to three new countries, three new states and experienced more wonderful moments than is possible for me to remember. Four years ago it was so easy to get on the plane and fly all by myself to Ecuador for a year. I think it was the easiest plane that I have ever gotten on. It was for sure the least complicated.
I learned so much in Ecuador but something I have learned since is that life is complicated. When you get a group of exchange students together in a room is usually consists of conversations of memories and begging to go back. But there is also a different, silent feeling that can be found in these rooms, joy of being home. I am one of those people that still reads blogs and articles from people with the travel bug and lets be honest, many days I do want to just hop and a plane and start a new adventure. But like I said, the least complicated beginning of a trip I've ever had was my flight to Ecuador. I was leaving a life that I had grown up in. A life that while wonderful hadn't really been my choice. It was a life that seemed normal and forced upon me. 12,000ish of the miles I have traveled since Ecuador have been my flights back and forth from school and Portland. They have been some of the most emotionally tolling flights I have ever taken.

My travel dedicated tattoo that can be found on my right side.
The quotes says "I am the master of my fate."

For me Concordia was a choice. Picking a small school out in Moorhead, Minnesota was an easy choice at the time. It was a choice I made while being about 5,000 miles away from home. What was 1,240 miles compared to 5,000? It was nothing. If I would have made that choice while at home, I dont know if it would be the same one. I had missed my family while I was gone. But it was also the best decision I could make. The other 14,000ish miles comes from that choice.
Leaving my Concordia community has always been hard. Concordia wasn't forced upon me, Concordia was a choice. I choose to go there and I choose to build my life there. I choose to make it home. I have now been away from that home for a year and boy do I miss it. I would never give up my choice of traveling (heck I even have a tattoo dedicated to it). But it is also OK to be ready to go home. I read blog after blog about how travelers would give anything to go back on their adventures and most of the time I agree. But, at the same time it is OK to miss home. It is OK to miss your family. I don't think there are enough writers out there that validate those feelings. No going home is not easy. Traveling changes you. Traveling changes your view of the world, increases your sense of adventure and can make normal life seem boring. The time you spent studying abroad will never leave your memory and it can never be replicated. While Portland will always be "Home" I have also discovered that you create home. You create it with your friends in foreign countries, you create it in the late nights spent up studying in the library, you build it with the midnight caffeine induced talks and the long distance FaceTimes because you miss each other to much for words. Since "Home" is wherever you build it, it is OK to miss it. College is much like its own exchange, after you graduate you will loose touch with some friends, grow closer with others and never forget the memories.
I am coming to the end of my exchange here in Mexico. It has been such a wonderful exchange. I've learned about myself, my mental health, what type of people I need in my life, and who really matters. People keep asking me how I feel about going home. I made incredible friends here, I had incredible experiences. But I miss home. I miss my best friends. I will miss Mexico. It is a beautiful country filled with beautiful people. But home is also filled with beautiful people. So yes, of course I will miss Mexico. I miss France and I've been gone 6 months. I miss Ecuador and its been 4 years. But I also miss the life I built. I miss the life I choose and worked for. I spent 2.5 years building it and I am ready to go back for my last semester in that bubble.
I have been traveling for 4 years. I am incredibly blessed for those opportunities and blessings. They have taught me how truly blessed and lucky I am. I will never stop traveling. I will always be somewhere. Sometimes I will throw my phone in the backseat and just get lost. I will always choose adventure over routine. But I am also ready to set up a home base. I am ready for some roots. Something to come home to. Someplace to hang pictures of all my memories from traveling. A place to hang my hat and keep my wine stores.
Traveling is a wonderful blessing. But so is a home. Since I am still between them. I will hang some of my memories here.